Men Behaving Badly????


I have the misfortune to be dealing with a male victim of domestic violence who has been sacked……for domestic violence. This situation would not be believed if it were a film or television drama but unfortunately for the dismissed officer, it is very real. The scenario is the result of a consistent failure by one particular force to take proper action during a domestic violence matter simply because the complainant was a cop. He reported the fact that he was a victim not once, not twice but more than 15 occasions over a 12 month period and still nothing was done for him. It is further compounded by the attempt of the senior management to make out a case that everything possible was done for him in an attempt to appease their own conscience. However, now they have sacked him the problem has gone away. The truth is that it was nothing more than a debacle which should be looked at to prevent it happening again.

The most recent episode in his life has involved him being attacked once again by his wife. He has defended himself on this occasion by taking her down to the floor and holding her there whilst she spat in his face and tore at his shirt and chest. The only mistake our former colleague made was to believe that his former victim record would count in his favour at any subsequent proceedings. They didn’t and he was convicted of a common assault. This officer was a good officer. No complaint history. No record of any violence. His family and friends rallied around to support him at the misconduct hearing including two former girlfriends, both now married, to outline how he never used violence in their relationship.

How do I know that he wasn’t the aggressor? I can only say that I have dealt with this man at length and nothing points toward that view. He is the one with the catalogue of injuries, sometimes photographed. He is the one who has colleagues describing bite marks to his back and shoulders in witness statements. He is the one with all the evidence and the one who, following medical consultation, is the one with the psychological scars showing him to be the victim. He is the one with the medical records showing stab wounds to his hands and arms. He is the one who has been badly let down.

Male Victims of Domestic Violence

If I told you all that 1 in every 6 males in this country will be a victim of domestic violence at some stage in their life. If you look at demographics then they can be broken down further into the fact that if the family earn less than the average wage then there are more female victims than male victims. If you earn around the national wage then the ratio is about equal. As cops we earn substantially more than the average wage and therefore fall into the category where there will be more male victims of domestic violence than female. Please, if you are a victim of domestic violence, whether male or female, then seek help. If you are a man then get in touch, confidentially, with mankind who are possibly the only support network in the country. Do not try and deal with it yourself, just walk away. You will not be believed, human nature, plain and simple.

Particularly if you work for the incompetent force that I work for!!

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13 thoughts on “Men Behaving Badly????

  1. Good post. There’s not enough attention or credence given to male victims of domestic violence. Your demographic link between family income and domestic violence is interesting too.

  2. Thanks. I have to say I cannot believe how much this lad has been let down. If proper action were taken in the first place he would still be working. What has angered me most is that instead of looking at why he has been failed there have been considerable efforts by senior managers to cover tracks and offset collateral damage but only to themselves.

  3. Still working on it. He was advised not to immediately after conviction but he now regrets it as it has affected so much more in his life. Divorce and access to children etc. Currently waiting on advice from a barrister as to whether he will now be allowed as he is out of time.

    He’s got it to do just to get it back into court.

  4. i know this former colleague personally and he is still waiting for a reply from his solicitor who seems to be dragging her feet, hopefully the conviction can be quashed and things put right, he is now being told he can only write to his 3 young children 3 times a year as she has poisned his children against him, all the ‘Partner agencies ‘ seem to be burying their heads in the sand under this conviction for common assault its about time someone woke up and smelt the coffee regarding this matter as it can be clearly seen who the aggressive person was in their relationship.

  5. Have known this police officer personally over a number of years and never observed him to be anything more than a hard working, decent family man who always spent time with his children. Family and home were his priority. Sincerely hope his appeal is successful.

  6. I know this officer,and he is an outstanding man.He has been through so much and has taken alot of abuse from his wife.People need to step back and relize that men can go through the same situation concerning domestic abuse that women do.Men are more likley to hide it because of there pride and most of them are ashamed.I live in America and it seems that the police dept. in the U.K. are corrupted like it is over here.This story needs as much media coverage as it can get.Eyes need to be opened and no one needs to look the other way.This man cant even see his children because of the assalt charge.The children need to be protected from there mother.If she can do this to her husband imagine what she can do to a helpless child.Someone needs to step in and see to it those children are protected and placed with there Father.One word STUPID.I hope justice is served and definatly not blind in his situation.He doesnt deserve this,nor do his children.

  7. I know the man in question , he is a good, honest and lovely man and I’m sure he will get the justice he deserves , people think that men don’t get abused in relationships but they do , unfortunately it’s not taken seriously and the woman is the one who is believed . This man is a good friend of mine and he adores his children . In all the time I have known him I can honestly say I have never seen a more gentle and caring person . Gail x

  8. have only known the man in question about 12 months so i can only comment on what i have seen since then. however what i have seen is someone who is a very gentle natured and caring person, who would do anything for anyone even though he is wrecked with the grief of being kept apart from his children. i have talked at length with him about the visits he has had from social services and it appears to me that their minds are made up before they step through his door. this is totally wrong and it makes me wonder what this man needs to do to get himself heard.women can be abusive and its time someone listened to the men out there that are subjected to it. this man needs justice for the way he has been treated but more than that he needs his children back in his arms where they belong

  9. I know the officer in question is deeply moved by all the nice comments left by people that have left such nice comments, this is not the end of this story and will update you in time

  10. Having been denied an appeal by the court even with new evidence , the Officer is now submitting his argument for an appeal to the Crimanal case review commission , he has trawled through all family court statements and also the prosecution file and has noted some quite simply put horredous lies by his ex wife and some missed opportunities from his barristers , update in due course .

  11. Pingback: Noble Cause Corruption. Welcome to our (un)Professional Standards Department (uPSD)

  12. Pingback: Noble Cause Corruption. Welcome to our (un)Professional Standards Department (uPSD)

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